first paper of my college career

[adidas]

this is my first paper of my college career. the assignment was to write about an event or person or situation that changed me in a positive way... and since i'm a rebel and all, i decided to argue with the fundamentals of the paper, in the paper. -- the title is latin for "in wine there is truth." the reason i did that was because i was trashed when i wrote this... i always seem to bull shit better with some beers in me... kinda ironic really.

In Vino Veritas.

I’m going to be blunt here: by my standards, I’ve never had a “life changing experience” when it comes to people or events. My changes come through inner deliberation, rather than the events themselves. The term “life changing” is so relative it’s almost sickening. Finding a dollar in the parking lot is “life changing” but I wouldn’t be so cruel as to announce something as superficial as that to you. I fail to find anything so important and “life changing” that it needs to be illuminated in text. I’ve lived the cliché teen years out and now I’m searching for this elusive life changing experience; this special point in time where I finally realize something so earth shattering, so utterly profound, that it merits an explanation via pen and paper. So instead of pulling the veil over your eyes, I’ll grace your ears and mind with the life changing experience that is the life of a lackluster youth. Some may say it reveals me a cynic, but the ones who say that know not of the situation concerning today’s youth. I find great comfort in knowing that no situation or person has affected me so much as to change me on their terms, however unintentional those terms are. This realization is a positive one. It’s the realization that I control what “changes” my life. Call it existentialism, call it whatever you will, but I call it “life building.” It builds character and it builds spirit. If I were to let the distraught girlfriends change me, it would not be for the better. If I were to let all the people who makeup my family and friends change me I would no longer have my sense of self. So this detachment is in turn “life building” and in the spirit of the paper “life building” can be just as potent as “life changing.” The only things that change me are the things that I allow to change me.

I guarantee that any number of college students who write a paper on a “life changing” experiences have never truly lived, for we have yet to be encumbered with the abstract idea of what life should be. Through my apathy of finding meaning in something that any other body can experience I can place myself in an “outside looking in” state of mind. I can see things for the bland entirety that they are and in doing so I can rationalize when situations look their bleakest. I’ll give you an example: last summer I rolled my car and crushed my hand. Right away I wasn’t concerned with the severed fingers, or the car that was ablaze. I was “outside looking in.” I was rationalizing the situation. I had a car, more importantly, I had a symbol of trust given to me by my parents. They trusted me to handle 300 horse power and three inches of lift. With the accident I had betrayed that trust. My concern wasn’t for my heath or for the firemen who were extinguishing the flames, it was for the trust that I had more or less killed between my parents and I. Flesh and metal are nothing compared to the bonds we hold between ourselves and our loved ones. That realization didn’t come through some superficial experience with a car; it came through inner deliberation, through hours upon hours of deep thought and self exploration. So who am I to label that one experience as life changing? It’s absurd. I, and only I, determine what changes me.

Here’s another example of what could be construed as “life changing” but in all actuality it was just the interaction between two bodies. I had been chasing a girl; we’ll just call her Mariah for the sake of the story. Mariah and I were good friends, but through the course of a month or so I realized that she didn’t like me the way I adored her. I never harbored any animosity or jealousy when she went after another guy; instead I turned it into something positive. The situation didn’t turn this atrocity into something positive, I did. Again, I was “outside looking in.” I saw her as another body, another human, and I understood that there was nothing I could do to change the way she viewed me. What I could do was change the way I viewed her and interpreted her actions. I started noticing the way she smoked a lot when things with her new boyfriend were on the rocks, I noticed that she tried to hide herself through drugs and other destructive behaviors, I noticed that she wasn’t some divine being that had it all figured out, I noticed that she was just as scared and confused as I was. She’d hide behind the false images and try to tell people that she had it all figured out, but I saw the reality of it. I saw her in her pure form, but most importantly I saw her through new eyes, eyes that weren’t tainted with past knowledge and past interpretations. Looking at people through “new eyes” is a great talent, but again I didn’t receive that talent because of a skewed relationship, I earned that talent through self deliberation and examination.

Nothing changes me without my permission. I can find great things in horrible situations. Are the situations then deserving of the title “life changing?” Or is it the way I, as a human being, choose to interpret the situations that I am faced with? We all have a choice, if you choose to find a lesson in breaking a bone, something like “don’t fall,” then more power to you. If you choose to look deeper into it and find a lesson worth learning, then in my opinion, you have achieved something that no accident, no personal narrative, no teacher can teach you.

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.
-Robert F. Bennett

[ricks77eb]

Here, I will give you the first grade of your college career.

F

College professors do not care about the phylisophical ramblings of a student. At least that has been my experience but good luck anyway.

Rick

[74bronc]

I will give you a few pieces of advice if you want to do well in college.

First, don't condescend the teacher. That will always get you in trouble. The professor might be lenient on your first paper because he/she doesn't know you, but in the future, be warned.

Next, if you want good grades in college, it comes down to giving the teacher what he/she wants. Very few professors care what you want. Figure out exactly what the teacher wants, and then give it to him/her. I didn't figure this out until I was a senior. I was an English major, so I have written many a paper.

Lastly, don't adhere to the cliche "if you can't wow them with brilliance, dazzle them with BS". Professors can see right through that.

Good luck with school.

[weps]

...next time eat a box of alphabits first, you could probably shit out a better paper. of course i'll still be curious to see what the grade is on this one.

ps. colleges are liberal havens for the most part. there is no room or need for rebels and even writing about classicbroncos probably would have fulfilled the assignment.

[Steve]

Let us know what grade that trash gets...

From your recent posts, it seems like you are drunk at least half the time. That's not a formula for success in college (or in real life,) but hey, it's not my $$$ paying for it.

[adidas]

it's not an acctual english professor... it's a teacher aid and he seems really laid back. he is just looking for a writing style and i couldn't write well on the material. i even had an original paper that i wrote... one that followed the guidelines but i thought it was crap so i pushed out this one. we'll see.

[Blue71]

Weps,

Shittin' out the Alpha-Bits..LOL

Thats funny.

Blue71

[72bronco]

I've written many term papers over the years. As was said before, just give the professor what they want. They’ve got to read and evaluate dozens, if not hundreds of papers and are going to reward those that stick to the assignment or, at the very least, give them an entertaining read.

Your paper comes off as a dark and depressing critique on intellectual relativism and has nothing to do with a positive, life-changing experience. It really wasn’t a trick question. Certainly there must have been something positive in your life that you can accept as life changing, even something as simple as your momma giving you hugs as a kid.

You really gotta lay off the booze.

[mark74ranger]

I agree that you must give the prof what he wants. It doesn't have to be the truth, it's just a paper. My english comp prof (in the late 70s) Arthur G. Sullivan III (he wanted to be called "Trip"), was a 60s/70s hippie who was looking stricktly for content and didn't care at all about form or grammer. Once I figured out what he wanted (you to pour out your deepest thoughts) I started getting better grades on papers. They didn't really have to be your deepest thoughts, how would he know, but it had to sound like it.

[4x4x289]

Have a few more beers. Then write: “i am what i am when i was value programmed between the ages of 7 and 13, at which time, i was under the influence of significant alcohol, gulp gulp, and therefore, i have no recollection of life changing experiences.

[trailpsycho]

I must agree with most of the above posters...teacher's aids, professors, whoever, they have been around more than you despite how deep and together you think you may be. You can be angry all you want about jumping through the hoops and being required to fulfill such assignements, but as was said, most dont care how it makes you feel. Perhaps, a little more self-change is in order to optimize your potential and succeed in college. I didnt get it for the first couple of years either. It comes down to substance, not shock. Rather than trying to make yourself sound more together and all knowing than you are, with regard to self-realization/actualization/determination, write about the first time you first went through this process/had an understanding that you owned your own perception; that would be/is a life-changing experience....the first time I realized myself as my biggest adversary.... Really, good luck. Not going to say lay off the drink or the smoke, but as you said about your girl-friend...may apply to yourself as well. A sincere introspection to one's self is always a worthy assigment. Cheers!

[JaxLax]

Ummm. jusr suck it up. do what they want. pass the class. then make fun of them once you get your A.

as for that above. D and you have to do it again, or I change it to an F.

[0313]

Just remember my favorite quote, "C's get degrees." Words to live by. That and lay off the alcohol. The liver doner list is too long to waste the liver you have.

[adidas]

haha my teacher knows latin. first words out of his mouth were, "you wrote this drunk didn't you?" good thing i asked him to read it before the deadline. i just finished the second... acctually third version... and it follows criteria and it's not pure bs!!!

[weps]

i wonder what the latin is for "steaming pile"...