Maybe at some point and time, someone will create a 12 step program for this problem. Until that time we will all just suffer on.
Steps:
1- Gather all your pennies together
2- Spend every spare minute on Craigslist looking for Broncos.
3- Go look at every Bronco possible, hoping beyond hope that it is 1: actually as perfect and rust free as described, and 2:That the owner will somehow be desperate enough to sell that he will drop the price $5000 because you obviously love the Bronco enough to give it a good home.
4- Fall in love with the only Bronco in your price range. A not so rust free 66 that ran when parked 15 years ago by the owners son when he A: went to college, or B: never returned from a sailing trip around the world.
5- Convince your wife/ significant other that A: It is an investment, after all it is a 66 with the coveted eyebrow grill. Support your argument by showing her every $30k plus Bronco on Ebay And B: It should only take a couple of months to restore it to it's former glory
6- Borrow an additional $500 from friends and family for transportation costs because even though you obviously love the Bronco and are going to give it a good home, the owner will not lower the price one dime less than you have saved up.
7- Triumphantly display your prize in the driveway for all your neighbors to see. This is where it will remain for the next 3 to 6 months, waiting for you to repay the loan to family and friends and scrounge enough additional money to buy a battery, points, plugs, wires, filters, antifreeze, and a carb rebuild kit.
8- Turn Bronco around in driveway, and/ or cover with tarp so the damn city/ H.O.A. Nazis will stop harassing you.
9- Rebuild the carb, perform tuneup, install new battery, pour fresh fuel in tank, hotwire igniton (owner couldn't find key), jump bad starter solenoid (original reason it was parked 15 years ago).
Bask in the glory as your treasure roars to life in a cloud of blue smoke rolling out of the unmuffled headers. Slam hood, jump into drivers seat, roll out into street, rev motor and slowly release clutch. Grin ear to ear as the Beast moves under her own power. Gather speed, semi-square tires hopping wildly jerking the steering wheel back and forth in the dreaded death wobble. Slam on the brakes only to find that the right front is the only one that works. Feel heart stop beating and time stand still as you careen toward your neighbor's new Mercedes. Say silent prayer of thanks as you stop short of total disaster. Shift back into first and meekly crawl back to your driveway.
10- Proceed to spend the next 4 to 7 years and every available dime, replacing almost every part of your Bronco to make it roadworthy and presentable.
11- Sell beloved Bronco due to divorce, illness, loss of job, putting children thru college, buying new house.
12- Repeat steps 1 thru 12
