Stock is beautiful with the 4R70W. But 35 inch tires are big so that does change the equation. I think your gearing is perfect for general use, so my thinking is that, like 904 said, a stock converter is still the way to go.
From what you are saying I’m not sure both of you were measuring the bolt pattern the same way. Maybe double check with him, unless you already did?
Basically he’s talking about torque converter size being based on bolt pattern size, and it doesn’t really work that way. At least not every time.
Larger torque converters have a lower stall speed. And smaller torque converter‘s have a higher stall speed. At least that’s how I remember it.
So here again, make sure you are hearing him correctly.
I keep going back-and-forth between my answer and your post just to make sure I’m reading it correctly. So maybe it’s me that’s off-center and skewed. So take that into account as well!
And as far as I know there was only one bolt pattern for an explorer flex plate so make sure you guys are both on the same page when it comes to measuring. His numbers don’t sound out of line for the bolt pattern, but I don’t remember exact numbers off the top of my head anyway so best to compare your measurements again.
I suppose you could always find a different flex plate with the 50 ounce imbalance and 164 teeth. But I don’t think you have to.
There should only be one torque converter style from the factory as well, so any changes to stall speed might change the diameter of the converter but not the bolt pattern.
They don’t usually change the bolt pattern based on the size of the torque converter. At least not every time. And it was my understanding that a smaller torque converter has a higher stall speed and a larger diameter torque converter has a lower stall speed.
So your tranny guy either said it backwards, or you heard it backwards. or I’m reading your post backwards.

Are you sure you heard him correctly regarding the larger diameter being a higher stall speed?
My stock one is wonderful but it’s not necessarily a good comparison because of my much smaller tires.