i have a problem, bear with me...

[Dark Star]

If you don't want people's opinions, then stop airing your problems out on a public forum. Why did you bring this out in public, anyway? Why not just notify the people that you owe parts to via phone or PM? Are you hoping for another donation from the EB community or something?

I don't know what your situation is, but I do know from personal experience that child custody/child support issues are very touchy and emotional. I have a step-daughter. Her biological father was pretty much non-existant for the first 5 years of her life. Not having your bio father around for a large part of your life tends to wrench on emotions.

Perhaps I am a jerk for saying it, but if you owe back child support, then I am glad that they are sapping your bank accounts. I get pretty riled up when the subject of "not paying child support" comes up. Before I married my wife, she was a very hard-working single mother. But, some times were hard for her and she actually needed some financial help. I don't really have any remorse for people who don't take responsibility and skip out on supporting their children. IMO, I think that you should definitely sell your Bronco and start making some BIG strides toward paying off what you owe.

I agree. Ben, my friend, you have found your daughter again, making amends. The gov caught up, they now want their money, ok. You just acquired a newer car, so reliability should not be an issue. The Bronco at this stage is just a "toy", should be sold, money hidden away for the "what if factor". You have stated before this that even with the new job, funds would be tight for a while, now they are going to dock your pay, so funds will be even tighter. What will happen if you get hurt? what if you need new tires? Brakes? radiator in the newer vehicle? There are a bunch of other "what ifs" that can be stated, but you should know that by now (Hey, got a new trans, it went out, got another, it went out, need a driveshaft, DSL & phone got shut off, clothes for her "she's growing like a weed", shoes, school books, lunch money, movies, need I say more).
Sell the Bronco, take the money and hide it away so the gov can't get it. If in a couple of few years things seem to be going smoothly, take the money out and buy another rig and start all over again, building it (this time with the enjoyment of doing it with your daughter).

just my $.02

DS

 

[Devin]

I agree. Ben, my friend, you have found your daughter again, making amends. The gov caught up, they now want their money, ok. You just acquired a newer car, so reliability should not be an issue. The Bronco at this stage is just a "toy", should be sold, money hidden away for the "what if factor". You have stated before this that even with the new job, funds would be tight for a while, now they are going to dock your pay, so funds will be even tighter. What will happen if you get hurt? what if you need new tires? Brakes? radiator in the newer vehicle? There are a bunch of other "what ifs" that can be stated, but you should know that by now (Hey, got a new trans, it went out, got another, it went out, need a driveshaft, DSL & phone got shut off, clothes for her "she's growing like a weed", shoes, school books, lunch money, movies, need I say more).
Sell the Bronco, take the money and hide it away so the gov can't get it. If in a couple of few years things seem to be going smoothly, take the money out and buy another rig and start all over again, building it (this time with the enjoyment of doing it with your daughter).

just my $.02

DS

This thread just angers me. I should probably leave it alone, but just can't for some reason. I don't agree with the "sell it" and hide it from the gov. philosophy. HE OWES MONEY. Plain and simple. If paying back his debt causes financial hardship for him, then that is a situation that HE created. I don't know what his exact situation is, but he did go for an extremely long time without seeing his daughter. Most of her life, in fact. There are a couple of circumstances that I can think of that would make that understandable (deployed overseas, mother kidnapped her and keeps running, stuff like that). But, I don't seem to think that this is the case. I have no idea why anybody would not want to see their own child. That is 13 years that he CAN NEVER get back. Damage has been done. Yes, it is good that he is finally making the effort to be with her, but where was he for the last 13 years? I remember when my step-daughters father came "waltzing" back into her life after 6 years like he did nothing wrong. I just about flipped my lid at his nonchalant attitude.

I have a step-daughter and a son. There is NO WAY that I would ever not see them. They and my wife are the most important things to me. I will do anything that I can to ensure their well-being. That is a commitment that I made and I will stick to it.

73stallion, you owe money. The Bronco should be the LEAST of your concerns right now. Step up and do the right thing. Show your little girl that she is indeed more important to you than your material possessions. Show her that you have the dignity to do what is right and pay back what you owe. Show her that you are willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for her.

Done.

 

[kyle]

He does not owe the government a dime (at least as child support is concerned). The government is simply collecting for the family. The person you are trying to hide money from is the person you moved to Houston to be with.

Are you starting to see the picture here?

 

[Dark Star]

This thread just angers me. I should probably leave it alone, but just can't for some reason. I don't agree with the "sell it" and hide it from the gov. philosophy. HE OWES MONEY. Plain and simple. If paying back his debt causes financial hardship for him, then that is a situation that HE created. I don't know what his exact situation is, but he did go for an extremely long time without seeing his daughter. Most of her life, in fact. There are a couple of circumstances that I can think of that would make that understandable (deployed overseas, mother kidnapped her and keeps running, stuff like that). But, I don't seem to think that this is the case. I have no idea why anybody would not want to see their own child. That is 13 years that he CAN NEVER get back. Damage has been done. Yes, it is good that he is finally making the effort to be with her, but where was he for the last 13 years? I remember when my step-daughters father came "waltzing" back into her life after 6 years like he did nothing wrong. I just about flipped my lid at his nonchalant attitude.

I have a step-daughter and a son. There is NO WAY that I would ever not see them. They and my wife are the most important things to me. I will do anything that I can to ensure their well-being. That is a commitment that I made and I will stick to it.

73stallion, you owe money. The Bronco should be the LEAST of your concerns right now. Step up and do the right thing. Show your little girl that she is indeed more important to you than your material possessions. Show her that you have the dignity to do what is right and pay back what you owe. Show her that you are willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for her.

Done.

Howdy Dev, I agree with you on most points (his daughter should be his only concern). I'm not saying not to pay the support, I'm saying make the payments, but sell the Bronco so that he could have the money when it might be needed to take care of his daughter. If he gives it all to the gov now, what will he do when he may need it later to take care of her (as stated in previous post "what if factor".
If I had a child, I too would give up everything to make sure that I raised them in a proper way. Making sure that I was able to provide all the necessities they would need.

DS

 

[Madgyver]

If I had a child,
DS

Being a father is one of the greatest gifts

 

[Skiddy]

Being a father is one of the greatest gifts

yes sir it is no matter the cost

 

[22213evl]

It absolutely amazes me how people can come on here and make such ridiculous statments about people that they have never even met. You have no clue as to the status of my relationship with my kids, but for some reason you have assumed the worst and therefor I am bitter about making the payments. Amazing!

First of all...the issue was Child Support in the financial form, my post was related to that and that alone. I realize there are many other ways of supporting your children that are more important than finances. Again, if you knew me, or my kids, you would know that.

For some reason you seem to think that holding people financially accountable for CS payments is a bad idea, I'd like to know why that is. The courts seem to think it is really important, and I happen to agree. As a matter of fact, I would think the only people that doesn't think it is important are the ones not making them.

I enjoy the discussion, but I prefer people to think about their statements before they go off on some mindless rant about people they don't even know.

[QUOTE=kbldawg;Personally, I think the whole child support system needs to be reworked. There are no checks and balances for the people receiving the $ to make sure they are actually using it to support the children and not to pay for whatever they feel like buying that month.


this statement was what I was refering to ^

If your ex goes out and buys some CRACK and your kids are homeless and starving then the above would be a valid statement.
if they are fed and taken care of what is your beef with How she spends HER money (yes I said HER money )
do you get it now or are your feelings toward your ex still getting in the way
I'm not trying to put you down I'm speaking from experiance

this is only my opinion it was not meant as a personal attack

 

[73stallion]

i understand the "what if" factor. if the time comes and i'm in a situation where i need the money, i may look at selling the bronco then. right now it's not necessary, so it's on hold and it's going into storage today. hell, i may end up having to sell it to have surgery on my kidney if it becomes life threatening.


you want to know the reason i didn't see her for so long,? it's because her mom ran me off. i went to see her when she was 2 years old, her mom had just had surgery. kellie was asleep taking a nap. i asked if i could see her, her mom said "you can't see her." the her boyfriend stepped in front of her and didn't let her say another word. at that point i thought i had lost her. i figured when the time was right i'd come and find kellie and explain the situation to her. that time came and she understands. in the meantime i've been in california helping my parents who are both not in good health. the bronco is the only thing that kept me sane for the past 7 years. believe me, there wasn't a day that didn't go by that i didn't think about her, worry about her, want to see her, hell i wanted to know what she even looked like...

 

[Skiddy]

I agree with that, just the extra people in the house, higher electric, more food, lots more tp (for my house anyway LOL) more laundry to do=more soap, dishes many ohter things come into play as well. But Ben never asked our opinion and from what i undestand kellie is pretty much living with him. ok i am done and wish this thread would go away. people who don't have kids don't understand everything and situations.

 

[trlblazr]

This thread is a very touchy subject. IT is hard to put your feeling into words sometimes and I think we are mostly on the same page. It sucks to see our Bronco brothers go at each other like this.

 

[Devin]

you want to know the reason i didn't see her for so long,? it's because her mom ran me off. i went to see her when she was 2 years old, her mom had just had surgery. kellie was asleep taking a nap. i asked if i could see her, her mom said "you can't see her." the her boyfriend stepped in front of her and didn't let her say another word. at that point i thought i had lost her. i figured when the time was right i'd come and find kellie and explain the situation to her. that time came and she understands. in the meantime i've been in california helping my parents who are both not in good health. the bronco is the only thing that kept me sane for the past 7 years. believe me, there wasn't a day that didn't go by that i didn't think about her, worry about her, want to see her, hell i wanted to know what she even looked like...

I know that I said I was done......but.......how long have you known where she was? You, as the biological father, have rights in this matter. Just how hard to you "try" to see her? Did you ever pursue the matter with a lawyer? Did you ever go and try to see her?

I'm sorry, but if the unimaginable thought of my wife and I ever splitting up happens, it would take a HELL OF A LOT MORE than her telling me that I couldn't see my kids to keep me away. Even if she took off, there are ways to find people. It would become the A #1 priority in my life. All of my resources would go to getting to see them and be with them.

Forgive my skepticism. I have heard this type of argument before. Have a good weekend. I am heading off to go camping with my family.

 

[JHD]

This is a very touchy subject that really shouldn't even be here but I couldn't agree with you more.

it would take a HELL OF A LOT MORE than her telling me that I couldn't see my kids to keep me away

 

[BroncoMark]

If Ben wants to continue with this thread, thats fine. I do think however, that it should be moved to the off topic forum.

 

[Bronco]

i understand the "what if" factor. if the time comes and i'm in a situation where i need the money, i may look at selling the bronco then.

I think not having enough money to ship parts would count as a situation. Also taking donations because you couldn't pay your phone bill would count as a situation where you needed money.

 

[73stallion]

I know that I said I was done......but.......how long have you known where she was? You, as the biological father, have rights in this matter. Just how hard to you "try" to see her? Did you ever pursue the matter with a lawyer? Did you ever go and try to see her?

for a long time i didn't know where she was, and they didn't even have a phone so i couldn't contact them. i did find out a last year that her grandpa did get a phone one day when i googled his name using online white pages. when i tried calling for her the middle of last year, i was lied to and he told me he didn't know how to get hold of her or her mom. basically a piss poor attempt to keep me away from kellie.

since i was out of state helping my parents it was hard for me to go up and try to force susie to let me see her. i didn't have the money to travel, or the money for a lawyer. trust me, it's next to impossible to find a free lawyer in this city. i'm trying right now.

i did get my check today. it's smaller than i thought it'd be, but i'll still be shipping a few parts out.

 

[thesnake]

I've been on both sides of this in a way. When my 2nd wife and I split, she got sole custody and I was paying out the ass for my two boys. (I kind of got screwed right out of the gate, it's a long story). Her and her boyfriend didn't even work, they lived off the child support. The only time I got to see the boys was when she needed something/or the boys needed something.

Within a year I managed to get sole custody of the boys, sold my two 68 camaros and headed for arizona. Since my ex-wife wasn't working, we didn't force her to pay child support. I sometimes miss the camaros. I decided when I went to Arizona that I wanted to get a bronco. Took me 7 years to find one I could afford.

I sold my 66 half cab and 75 bronco northland special to buy my wife a house. I sold my 70 half cab to pay the retainer for the lawyer for the divorce, less than a year later.

Like Mad and Skiddy said, there's nothing better than being a father. I would sell my bronco to take care of my kids, but I have the luxury that the crown vic and chevy truck would go first.

Keep your head up Ben, if you can keep the bronco, then do it. It seems to be something that you and Kellie enjoy together, and I know that, that is priceless.

John

 

[kbldawg]

Remeber as you are lecturing Ben about his relationship with his daughter, she is reading this as well.

I have learned that you can not convince people of anything, we all go our own course, Ben will go his and make is own decisions as it should be.

Good luck Brother I hope it all works out for you guys. The important thing is that you are now together and enjoying each others company, the rest is just speed bumps.

22213evl, no hard feelings bro...I'm sure some where in all this we agree more than we think.

 

[astark]

Well stated Chad

We will be having some fun on the trail soon too ;D

 

[22213evl]

kbldawg no hard feelings ;D
just tryin to share things I learned the hard way
(seems to be the way I learn everything) LOL

 

[73stallion]

FWIW i don't have hard feelings against anyone. i appreciate all advise given. i jumped into fatherhood with both feet not really knowing what i was getting into. my expenses went through the roof, and i'm having to learn to deal with that. the bronco went into storage last night and it's on the back burner right now. i got some responsibilities right now and i'm gonna get those taken care of now.