At the ignition switch I watch it go from 12.5V at ON and then when cranking it goes to 1.5 and 3.8 and 6.2 and all over the effin place.
I've checked the voltage in a few places; the battery post... They all show big drops, and it only happens when cranking.
First you said "at the ig.sw."; then you said at "the battery post". Are you using 2 voltmeters simulataneously?
Clean the battery posts to shiny metal, and fix the meter probes to the POSTS;
not to the clamps AROUND the posts. Set the meter where you can see it during cranking. If it drops below ~10.5VDC at any point, the starter is pulling more current than the battery can supply. That doesn't prove if it's a bad battery or a bad starter, but it's a definite symptom.
If voltage stays above 10.5 there, move the meter to the ig.sw. and retest. If it drops lower than the battery post reading even for a fraction of a second, you have poor connections somewhere.
...new cables. One from the battery negative to the starter mounting bolt, one from the back of the head to the frame and a strap from the frame to the body.
That's a poor configuration, though not necessarily bad enough to prevent the engine from running. A better arrangement is:
1) battery to starter
2) SAME BOLT on the starter to frame
3) battery to inner fender