Few lines that helped me .....
There’s no “normal” response to death.
Everybody is different, which means you’ll grieve differently than a family member or coworker.
Accepting yourself and others’ response to death is an important part of the grieving process!
Feeling your grief, anger, guilt, and all your emotions is important.
Give yourself permission to grieve, irregardless of what other people need or expect of you.
You may feel like your heart will break or you’ll fall into a black pit and never get out – but you have to feel your feelingsbefore you can heal.
Letting go of the past through expression of your feelings is healthy !
Remember that time heals – that old cliche!
Time does heal when you’re surviving the death of a spouse.
Whether it completely heals ALL wounds is a different story, but it does dull the pain a little.
Your feelings of loss and sadness may never go away, but with time your heavy burden of sadness will lighten.
( my personal opinion is that it doesn't heal , ..... over time you just learn to live with it )
Take Care of Yourself.
Remember to eat, try to get enough rest, and keep all things that are harmful to you
(such as alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and too much stimuli) at a minimum.
Ultimately, the initial first few days are the hardest.
Simple bodily functions are no longer second nature.
You are no longer the person you used to be.
It’s like having a stroke and you have to learn to walk and talk again, except in this case, you may remember to walk and talk, but you don’t know how to eat, sleep, dream, or love.
You may not even remember how to care for yourself or for anyone else. All of these have to be learned again. In essence, you begin to reinvent yourself.
When you start to feel your sanity slip, do whatever positive thing you can think of to hold on:
pray, meditate, go get a full body massage at a spa, scream at a starlit sky, take a trip to a new place, stare at sunsets, lay in an open field and watch the clouds drift, or do all of these things at once:
Just do something for you! And don’t feel guilty about being selfish about it.
You can’t do anything for others if you don’t take care of yourself first.
You can’t be loving to others if you aren’t loving to yourself first.
Then, when you start to feel a sense of renewal, think about extending the love you still want to express for your wife in a way that will benefit others. Believe it or not, there will always be someone else who has experienced greater sadness and loss.
Keep Yourself Busy, find something to do to keep yourself occupied so that you aren’t so caught up in that cycle of loneliness and despair. ( in honor planting trees was something i found comfort in )
gl
Franko
...my condolences to the family, extended family and friends
